sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I've blown a few things in my day
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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