I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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