My first STD was from a foam party
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Semen is not good for contacts.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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