I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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