His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
