I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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