Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
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