bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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