I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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