Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.