Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's official drugs can't kill me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
