yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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