She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
