no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
