I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
