Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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