Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
