Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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