party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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