i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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