I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
