so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
