I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
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I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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