I think my fart just growled at me.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
