Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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