Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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