I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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