Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
