Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
