my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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