if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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