Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
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Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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