So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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