I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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