what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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