Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
