did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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