Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize