I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
