there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize