He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
