well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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