dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
