I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
