The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
