so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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