You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
