I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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