Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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