So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
