The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
