He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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