I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
