ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ladies don't puke and tell
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
