so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
