ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
