at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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