If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
