I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
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