dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
